Berk's Big Book of Rules
by Girl Gamer FTW
Summary: Are you new to the Isle of Berk? Are you afraid of messing things up? Well fear no more for here I bring thee a book and all of them are written with experience. What rules you ask? Well like Rule #1 never ask Snotlout for love advice I'm open to suggestions so leave them in the review section thingy and I will give you a shotout if yours were picked
1. Never ask Snotlout for love advice

**Disclaimer: I do not own this movie**

**A/N: This is from your perspective meaning you're in the story**

_**Rule #1: Never ask Snotlout for love advice**_

"Hey Snotlout!" I called out

"What?! Can't you see I'm busy getting my muscles up for Astrid?" he snapped

"Sure like Astrid's gonna leave Hiccup for you" I teased

"Hey! It could happen, I mean who could resist all of this" he said slowly kissing his muscles

"Gross, anyways I need your advice"

"Oh you came to the right place! What kind of advice do ya want?" he said with more interest

"Well I sorta need love advice, you see I'm totally crushing on this guy/girl and I was hoping what should I do?"

**To the ladies:** "Well, you gotta need some curves you know? To make those guys look at ya and say 'Woah'. Take me for example I love a girl who has brains and not much of a Viking but with a dragoneque figure- I mean I love girls with more muscles than brain! Yea let's go with that and we never talked about this hmmkay"

**To the guys:** "Dude! You gotta get more muscles, sure girls may say they love you for who you are but they're just saying that. Take me for example! Sure I may look like the perfect Viking but honestly I'm like Fish on the ins- I mean yea you go do that and we never talked about this hmmkay"

He said running off

"Okay that was weird " you thought as you walked away

**Few minutes later….**

We see chaos, sheeps are on fire, Gobber is missing his peg leg, Hiccup is trying to look buff with his shirt off, and your crush ended up going to the healers

"Yep never ask Snotlout for love advice" you muttered as you write that rule down in your notebook


	2. Never agree to the twin's dares

**Disclaimer: I most definitely own HTTYD….NOT!**

**A/N: No suggestions? Alrighty then I suppose I have to use some really lame-ish ideas**

_**Rule #2: Never, AND I MEAN NEVER agree to one of the twin's crazy dares. No matter how great they'll say they would do for you**_

It was sunset as you made your way towards your home, on the way though you see the twins hiding behind a tree snickering. You wore a mischievous smile as you sneaked up behind them

"Ruff, Tuff! Look out, Astrid's yaknog is spreading throughout the isle!" you shouted successfully scaring them.

"No! I'm too pretty to die by that Thor forsaken drink!" Tuffnut shouted

"No! I wanted to die by battle not by Astrid's yuck-nog!" Ruffnut shouted, both twins hugging each other

"Tuff, I just want you to know no matter how much we fight I've always loved you!" Ruffnut cried

"Me too sis!" he cried as well. You just stood there bewildered at what you just witnessed

"Uh guys I was only kidding" you said laughing

"What?!" they shouted in unison

"You better not tell a single soul about what just happened or Thor help me I will rip you bit by bit and feed you to…uh…." Ruffnut threatened

"A Sheep!" Tuffnut yelled

"Yea! A terrifying grass eating sheep!" She threatened some more

"Oh my, I'm so scared" you said sarcastically

"Oh you better be" Tuffnut replied laughing evilly

"So…what are you guys doing hiding?" you asked after you finally stopped laughing

"Look over there, tell us what you see" Tuffnut pointed towards the cliff

"I see a cliff"

"And….. Look closer" Ruffnut suggested

You looked closer and see Astrid and Hiccup snuggling, watching the sunset

"I see Hiccup and Astrid having their "Alone Time" which is very much violated because of you two" I said

"Well we have a dare for ya (name)" Ruffnut said smirking

"And what do I get in return?"

"We'll clean after (your dragon's name) for the entire month!" she replied

"Yea….wait what?!" Tuffnut shouted

"I accept! Good luck with (dragon's name) Tuff) you said smiling evilly

"So… What's the dare?"

"We dare you to jump in-between them and say 'Hey guys! Got room for more?' and try to hit on Hiccup/Astrid" They said in chorus

"That will spell the death of me….. I accept!"

So there you go sneaking towards the tree the sweet couple are leaning against, and as you climbed the tree you overheard some of their discussion

"I wish this moment would go on forever" Astrid said dreamily

"Well you do have that option" Hiccup said thus confusing Astrid

"What do you mean?" Astrid said wondering. _This is it!_ You thought as you prepared to jump down in-between them

"Astrid will you ma-"Hiccup started as you successfully jumped in-between them scaring both of them

"Hey guys! Got room for more? Hey Hiccup/Astrid" you said seductively towards him/her. You turned towards Astrid/Hiccup and saw pure anger in his/her eyes

"Oh wow, um look at the time! I um gotta go seeya guys!" you said running off

"I'm gonna kill you (name)" he/she shouted running after you leaving the twins and Hiccup/Astrid in shock

"IT WAS A JOKE!" you screamed as you ran throughout the town

_Ten minutes later….._

"Ok ok! I'm sorry!" you choked out due to Astrid/Toothless choking you

**If you're a girl:** "Good! No if you'll excuse me I need to ask Hiccup about what he was about to say" she said as she left the arena giving you one more glare

**If you're a guy: "**Good! Now if you'll excuse me I need to plan another perfect date so I can finally propose" Hiccup said with Toothless trailing behind him giving you one more glare before they left. "

"Okay… Lesson learned: Never EVER agree to one of the twins' dares" you said as you wrote this down


	3. Never steal one of Stoick's weapons

**Disclaimer: I no own movie**

**A/N: Thank you Guest a for the suggestion**

_**Rule #3 never steal one of Stoick's weapons**_

It was mid-day and you were just sitting at a cliff bored as ever. You've finished all your chores and now had nothing to do. The twins are probably blowing things up again, Astrid and Hiccup are on their date at the cove, Snotlout is working out again and Fishlegs does whatever Fishegs' do.

"Come on! Give me outcasts, rouge dragons anything. Just give me something to do!" you shouted to the gods

"I'm too lazy to interrupt Hiccup and Astrid's date….It not like I'm scared of anything" you muttered. Out of the corner of your eyes you saw Stoick giving Gobber some weapons to restore.

Then you suddenly had a crazy thought as you smiled mischievously.

You made your way towards the forge as you hid around the corner and waited for an opportunity to deploy your plan

"I got ma axe, and I got ma mace an I love ma wife with an ugly face I'm a Viking true and trueeeeee!" he sang off tune whilst hammering down one of Stoick's sword. Then out of nowhere a Viking ran towards Gobber

"Gobber, thank goodness you're here! My dragon just started spewing fire everywhere. I suspect it's because of tha rock he ate thinking it was a fish, don't ask about it" he said

"Alright hold ye dragons Hoark I'll follow ye in jest a jiffy" he said leaving the unfinished sword in a bucket of water

You saw your opportunity and saw a pile load of weapons in a corner. You're eyes grew huge as you saw one sword, its blade was black and the hilt was made of gold with a single ruby at the center

"Oh Thor! I just hit the freaking mother lode!" you said grabbing the sword and giving it a swing

"Thanks again Gobber! I still don't know how tha rock made it look like a fish to tha dragon" he said shaking Gobber's hand

"Don't ye worry about it, jest make sure tha you only show it fish and not rocks" he said bidding goodbye

"Poo! I'm gonna be seen" you said quickly sneaking out the back way with that sword in your hand

_A few minutes later…._

You were sitting in your watchtower admiring the sword in your hand, unbeknownst to you the danger that comes your way

"(Name)! Why do you have that sword?!" Hiccup asked with a worried face as he climbed the tower

"I found it, why do you care?" you sneered

"Well, because my dad has been looking for it all day and is now storming your way." He said with no emotion what so ever "I hate to be here when he finds out you stole it so…. Seeya!" he said jumping off and landing on Toothless' back

"(Name)! WHY IN THOR'S NAME DO YOU HAVE THAT SWORD?!" Stoick yelled as he saw you holding it

"Oh shi-"

_Hours later from cleaning the Dragon Stables….._

"Ugh, I smell like dragon poo" you said raising your arms and giving it a sniff

"Well you did spent almost 5 hours bathing in it" Astrid said with a smirk

"That's what you get for stealing Trinity" Hiccup said

"Trinity?" you asked him wiping more poop off your face

"He calls that sword Trinity, it was the last thing mom gave him before she died. Trinity for me, mom and dad"** (A/N: and it's not because I was watching to the Matrix while writing this…. Or is it?)**

"I suggest you get yourself cleaned up pronto because here comes (Name of your crush)" Tuffnut jeered

"Noooooooooooooooooooo!" you screamed running away making a mental note that NEVER steal one of Stoick's weapons

**A/N: More suggestions please!**


	4. Do not get between Toothless & his fish

**Disclaimer: #1 rule- Do not say you own the movie when really you don't**

**Thanks for the support guys! But I'm desperate for some suggestions because I'm out of ideas.**

**Thank you for the suggestion ****Acadjonne d'la Baie**

_**Ami: **_**To be honest I can't think of any good Norse names for a boy and girl so…. You have to use your imagination or pm me the names you want. And the character in the story is actually you, my dear readers**

**That's it, ON WITH THE STORY!**

_**Rule #4 Do not get between Toothless and his fish**_

It's been weeks since you're incident with Dragon poop and finally you don't smell like poop. Winter finally came and all the villagers are getting ready for Snoggletog, The dragons are already leaving and only a few stayed behind, namely: Toothless. You wondered where your friends were as you made your way to the docks. On your way you noticed a big ship on the horizon, in it were Stoick, Hiccup, Astrid, Snotlout, The twins and Fishleggs. Feeling hurt that they left you went down to talk to Gobber.

"Gobber! Where are they going?" you ask

"(Name), yer too late. They wanted ye to come 'nd join em but ye never went out of ye watchtower. I'm sorry lass/lad" Gobber said apologetically

"Nah, it's alright Gobber but really where are they heading off to?"

"They're off fishing, turns out a certain monstrous nightmare **(*cough* Hookfang *cough*) **most of the fish when his rider left him unattended to go and flirt with some lassies" Gobber said with a scowl

"Alright, catch you later Gobber" you said leaving him to his thoughts.

You walked some more and noticed that you didn't see Toothless with Hiccup on the ship

"Must've left him behind" you mumbled as you walked through the woods, you suddenly entered a clearing with what looks like some sort of the remains of a bola. You scanned the place some more and noticed a path leading deeper through the forest. You followed the path and it led you to another clearing but this time it was a cove, you went down and noticed a shield stuck between two rocks.

_Well that's odd_ you thought as you finally made it down, you noticed a big bat like creature hanging from a branch.

"Toothless?" you called out and to your relief it was Toothless. He excitedly "walked" towards you and licked you whole.

"Hey Toothless!" you greeted him, your eyes roamed around the cove and noticed some drawings on the ground, as well as scorch marks.

"What is this place?" you asked yourself. Suddenly you noticed something shiny at the corner of your eye, reflecting the sun's rays. You walked towards it and to your surprise you see an axe. But not just any axe, it was _Astrid's Axe_! You were about to ask Toothless how this got here but he wasn't there

"Toothless?" you called out. You finally noticed him by the pond with a whole stack of fish by his side.

You realized that you haven't had lunch yet and made your way towards the fish. Reaching out to one of the fish you heard Toothless growled. You turned to him and saw his eyes glaring at you

"Oh come on you over grown lizard! I'm hungry" you complained, you hear a strange gurgling sound coming from Toothless. Then suddenly he spitted out a…. a… Fish Head! Looking satisfied Toothless continued scarfing down the fish growling whenever you came near it.

"Well two can play it that game" you mumbled as you went to pick up Astrid's axe. Angling it perfectly a speck of light was created. You aimed it at Toothless, and as planned he grew interest in this small dot of light. You led him towards the hollowed tree roots that served as a cave and gently placed down the axe and made your way towards the pile of fish. Without thinking you dived into the pile and ate it raw **(Yes you're that hungry that you eat fish raw)**

"Mmmmmmmm, thash da shtuff" you said with a mouthful of fish. Lost in your thoughts you suddenly smelled something burning

"*sniff* what's burning? Smells like chicken" you said sniffing the air. Then you felt a burning sensation in *ehem* _Uranus_.

"Argh!" you yelled as you jumped in the pond. You sighed in relief, you looked back and saw Toothless giving one of his "Toothless smile". You also noticed that the pile of fish was actually a pile or regurgitated fish halves. You scowled as you stood up and made your way towards the village.

When you finally got to the village you noticed that your friends got home as well

"(Name)! How are you?" Fishlegs asked as you passed him

"Oh I'm great! I just got my butt fried but nothing out of the ordinary right?" you said sarcastically leaving a very confused Fishlegs

"(Name)! What happened to you?" Hiccup asked concerned

"Nothing you need to worry about Fishbone" you snapped

"Hey! What's your problem?" Astrid asked defending her man….. okay boy

"Oh nothing really, I'm just on my way to the healers to put some cream on my butt because a certain black dragon burned it" you deadpanned.

00000

While the healer was putting cream on your butt you wrote in your notebook:

_Rule#4 never get between Toothless and his fish _you wrote with a scowl.

_**A/N: Hey guys! So I've been thinking: should I make a story about the character? Mainly "Your" character?**_

_**If yes then I need to make up a permanent name and stop using (name). That's it and seriously I'M IN NEED OF SUGGESTIONS! byeeee**_


End file.
